Sometimes we try to deal with the pain of a break-up in ways that make things worse: increased drug or alcohol use, stalking an ex online or off, or hooking up. It’s better to find ways to cope that are healthy and help us heal. Here are some suggestions for helping yourself or a friend move on after a break-up:

Talk It Out: Sometimes, admitting our pain after a break-up may seem embarrassing, but holding it all inside can make things worse. Talking about it really can help make us feel better. It can also help to write things down in a journal.

Walk It Out: Just getting up and getting out can make you feel better. Getting out of bed and moving around can be a big part of moving on. If finding motivation is hard, take it one step at a time. You can start with going for a walk near home.

Shut It Out: There are so many ways to keep up with an ex’s every move these days, especially through social networks. If you find yourself staring at your ex’s Facebook page for hours on end or hanging around the places you think he or she might be, it’s time to make some changes to your routine.

Seek It Out: Counselors are trained to help people work through painful times like break-ups. As much as we want to figure it all out on our own, sometimes we need the help of a professional. Don’t be afraid to get support. Here are some ways to get started.

Watch Out: Sometimes break-ups can cause or worsen hopelessness that may lead to thoughts of suicide. If you or a friend are feeling hopeless or using drugs and alcohol to try and deal with the pain, you have to speak up and get help. You aren’t alone and you can feel better, you just have to take that first step.